Helmet Head

I've debating even writing this blog, because I didn't want to seem like I was crying over spilled milk, but I feel like I want to let this out. As a result of Carter's Torticollis (which is now healed and no more physical therapy), he has a severe flat spot on the right side of his head. It's like the entire back, right side of his head is flat and letting it correct itself is no longer an option. He is now going to have to wear a helmet to correct it. The therapist pretty much told me he'd have to wear it for a few months. She broke the news to me easily, because she wasn't sure how I'd react, but I was okay with it. I was just relieved that there was something we could actually do to fix his head rather than waiting to see if it fixed itself. So, I put things in perspective and told myself that if wearing a helmet for a few months was the worst thing he's have to go through, then we're pretty blessed. Afterall, there are children out there that are battling cancer and I'm just glad we aren't facing that.

He is scheduled for a CT Scan on his head on Monday morning. I have to take him to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital again. That place really wigs me out. It does a good job of putting things into perspective when you see kids with serious illnesses all around you, but it's hard to swallow the fact that I have to take my newborn up there. After he gets his scan done, he will have his first consultation with a plastic surgeon. The plastic surgeon will then take a mold of his head at some point to get him fitted for a helmet. I know this will all be over with before I know it, but it still bothers me a little bit. I'm worried the helmet will upset him and he once again will be a fussy baby. Or what if he has to sleep with it on? Will he sleep crappy again? Oh gosh.

Also, all of this doesn't come cheap. The therapist told me that it is extremely expensive and I'm just praying my insurance covers it. If you knew the battles I've had with them ever since Carter was born, you would understand my concern. But even if they do pay their part, we are still looking at another couple thousand dollars out-of-pocket probably. We've already paid so much towards medical bills that it makes me cringe to think we will be spending even more.

I know I shouldn't be complaining about this, but it all gets to be a little overwhelming sometimes. Let's not forget that I work 50 hours a week and already have so much on my plate as it is. My mom has been sooooooooooo helpful with Carter with watching him 5 -6 days a week while I work, so we don't have to pay for daycare right now, but I still feel really stressed out some days. It's like a weight on my chest that I just can't manage to get lifted off. I try to give it up to God, but I don't think I'm doing a very good job of that. Just please keep my little one in your prayers and we'll be hoping for a really quick recovery.

Did I Mention How Serious I Am?

In case I didn't mention it already, I'm very serious about keeping my New Years Resolution and dropping all my baby weight and then some. To prove it, I bought this:
Yes folks, I bought a new treadmill and parked it right next to my bed. So there is no possible way of me forgetting that I have this nice piece of workout machinery. I will be a runner again and I will once again be in shapel. No more excuses!!!

Imma box you up.

So I have really been trying to stick with my healthier diet and exercise and I'm still seeing results. The weight drop has slowed, but I'm slowly but surely getting my old body back. I've lost another 3 lbs since I started tracking my weight loss, bringing the total to 10 lbs. And I'm down 37 lbs from my heaviest while pregnant. So I have another 14 lbs to get back to what I weighed at my first Dr's appt and then another 16 lbs on top of that to get back to my pre pre-baby weight.

I've really been getting serious about the workout and have gotten back into boxing. Boxing is a serious workout and unless my mind is right, I just can't do it. I usually have to think about something that makes me mad or sad in order to get a really good workout. For the past week I have been doing the elliptical for about 30 mins and then doing about 25 mins on the bag. I think what forces me to really go hard on the bag is when I actually take the time to wrap my wrists. It's a hassle and takes several minutes, but if I do it, I know I'll box for longer than 5 minutes. Not to mention, this really does prevent injury. I can not tell you how bad it hurts to bend your wrist up while swinging as hard as you can. Not fun!!

So here's to keeping up the healthier way of life and to looking good in a swimsuit again!

Final Some Results

As I posted previously, my resolution for this year was to lose 35 to 40lbs. I started working out again and was really feeling back on track as far as excercise goes. But, unfortunately the scale was just not agreeing with me. It wasn't moving at all. This depressed me. So I stopped working out for a couple of weeks (partly due lack of motivation from not losing any weight and partly due to lack of sleep and no energy). So I figured if I wasn't working out, I should at least start eating healthier again. God knows I do not diet and portion control is not in my vocabulary, but I was determined to find food that was way healthier for me and I didn't have to feel guilty about filling up on. So I made a trip to the grocery store and got lots of fresh veggies, lots of chicken, fresh meats, and veggie crisps instead of regular chips. I also refused to pick up any sweets. My moto is, if it's not in the house it can't tempt me.

So after a couple of weeks of eating a bit healthier, I have dropped 7 lbs. It's really weird, it just seems to be falling off now. Not that I can really notice anything with my eyes (I'm still a fat ass), but the scale can't lie. Can it?? So this was just the motivation I needed to start working out again. I've been getting more sleep lately (Carter is sleeping for 6 hours straight at night) and I have no excuse not to be doing something. I would really like to feel comfortable getting back into a swim suit, and that season is just around the corner. I might add that it will no longer be a two piece, because no matter how much weight I lose, stretch marks are here to stay.

So here's to losing 7 lbs!!! Yay!!

12 Weeks Old

Tomorrow Carter will be 12 weeks old. I can't believe it. Where has the time gone? I just wish my pregnancy would have flown by that fast. Carter boy is making so much progress each and every day I hardly want to blink in fear I will miss something. As you all know he started rolling over from belly to back when he was 6 weeks old (which he continues to do) and now he's getting really close to rolling from his back to his belly. I'm afraid I might miss that event someday while I'm at work. My mom got this really great play mat for him that has toys dangling down and he likes to kick and grab at them and it really works him up to almost rolling over.

He started his physical therapy the other day and the therapist was so impressed with his strength and development. She couldn't believe how long he could hold his head up while on his belly and the fact that he was holding objects already. She gave him a rattle to hold and he held it for several minutes and even tried to put it in his mouth. She said he thinks he's a 4 month old. Yay! But the most important part was that she saw major improvement in his torticollis and said the stretches I had been doing with him were working well. She gave me one extra stretch to do with him (which he hates I might add) and she wants to see him back in a month. She believes he is continuing to sleep on one side of his head now, because his flat spot is so bad not because his neck is still so tight. This is good and bad. I'm glad his neck is getting better, but wish I would've gotten the problem fixed before he developed such a bad flat spot. I mean it is really bad!!! I'm afraid he's gonna be a pancake head forever. Why didn't anyone ever tell me about flat spots?! Out of all the crap they warm you about with a baby, no one ever mentioned flat spots. Does anyone know when the soft spot closes up? The therapist says his flat spot will correct itself as long as he still has his soft spot.

Anyway, Carter was scheduled to be dedicated at my church on Jan. 31, but it was postponed due to bad weather. So they rescheduled it for Feb. 28. We're looking forward to that. Not only do we get to dedicate his life to the Lord, we also get to show him off to the whole church and you know how us parents like to show off our babies.

So here is the little guy (or big guy rather).

A Sad Good-Bye

Tomorrow our newest family member, Chubs, will go to the animal shelter. For the first few days, he was the absolute gentlest, sweetest dog you've ever met (he wouldn't even barely take food out of your hand), but he has begun to show signs of aggression and he must go. The first sign was a couple of days ago when he peed on a box in our bonus room and I grabbed him up by his collar and put his nose in it and he started growling at me. My heart began to pound at that point, but I didn't show him any fear and had Brett take him outside immediately. At that point I decided he was not going to be a permanent member of our family. I hadn't gone as far as deciding to take him to the shelter, but I had decided I would find a family to adopt him. Most likely, one that didn't have little kids.

I had him an appointment set up for today to get his shots and I was going to hang a flyer up in the Vet's office with info about him, in hopes someone would adopt him. Then last night happened. I was in the kitchen and I had just given Chubs some food (I had to mix treats in it to get him to eat dog food), when Patsy came near him and he snapped. He growled and opened up his mouth and beared down on her neck. She immediately begun yelping and I screamed "Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!" and jumped at him. He let go right away and hit the floor on his back. I was just sure Patsy was going to have blood gushing from her neck, but my first priority was to get that dog out of the house. Thank goodness, Carter was spending the night at Nana's so he was not in any danger.

I had to scoot Chubs all the way out the door, because he wouldn't get up and was just laying on his back in a submissive position. Brett had heard Patsy yelp and me scream and he came rushing in the house. He was outside cleaning his truck and when he heard us, he ran as fast as he could and slammed the truck door into his knee cap in the process. Ouch!!!!! Once he realized we were okay, he fell on the floor in pain. He did come over finally and help me get Chubs out the door. Once he was outside, I went over to Patsy and checked for injuries. I could see a little bit of blood in her fur, but couldn't find the bite mark. So she was okay, just a little scared. I felt terrible. How could I let this happen? How could I let this strange dog into my house, not truly knowing his upbringing? I knew what I had to do now and that was to take him to the shelter.

I called first thing this morning to see if I could bring Chubs in and to find out if they were a "no kill" shelter. They are not. They said if the dog shows any signs of aggression, they have to put them down or if they run out of room. The lady told me they euthanize on a daily basis. This really upset me. Here I rescued this dog so he wouldn't be sent to the pound and be put down, and now that's exactly what I'm doing to him. I couldn't make myself take him today, but I have decided I have to do it tomorrow. As much as I am already attached to him, there is nothing more important to me than my baby and I will not put that child in danger, even if that means the possibility of Chubs being put to sleep.

So Chubs, I'm sorry I couldn't save you for good, but I hope that a family without little dogs and little kids adopts you soon. I'll pray for you my friend.

Citation for being an idiot.

So I was coming back from the store where I had grabbed some Sushi for lunch and I pulled out in front of a cop. Of course, I wasn't speeding but I still felt uneasy about it. Well he passed me and I pulled into the turn lane to turn right and head back to work. That's when I saw him pull out of his lane into mine and I was just waiting for the lights to come on. Of course, he waited until I turned and he turned them on. I knew I had a brake light out, so I figured he give me a warning and let me go.

When he walked up to the car he had a little black box in his hand and he asked me if I knew why he pulled me over. I thought I did, but then it looked like he had a breathalizer in his hand and I thought to myself, "man, I really didn't think I was driving that wreckless". That's when he told me he pulled me over for a brake light that was out and my tint was too dark. The little machine he had in his hand slips over the window and tells him how dark my tint is. It registered 17% and you can only go as low as 35%. Then he asked for my license, registration, and proof of insurance. I then told him my address was outdated on my license, I didn't have my new insurance card with me, and I couldn't find my registration!!! What an idiot, I felt like.

So needless to say, I got a ticket for my tint, my incorrect driver's license, and no proof of insurance. He let me slide on the brake light and registration. What a day. I wonder how much this is going to cost me?