Not Worthy Of A Title

This blog is not worthy of a title, because I don't what I could really title it. I'm sad, angry, crushed, and the list goes on...but I just don't want to put a title on it. What I have to say really sucks and is far from the happy joy filled blogs I normally write.

This morning I was at work when the office phone rang and the name of my doctor's office came across the screen. They called me at work. At work. This could only mean one thing in my mind. I picked up and the nurse practioner that checked me out was on the line, she informed me that my HGC levels had continued to drop, but slowly rather than rapidly. This in their minds would indicate a ectopic pregnancy rather than a miscarriage. This would also explain the pain I felt last Friday. They said they would recheck my levels once again on Monday, but that they would most likely be terminating the pregnancy at that point. All the hope that I was still holding onto at that point was crushed. This baby is not going to make it and there is nothing I can do about it. What filled my heart with joy a few days ago has now filled it with sadness. I know that lots of women go through things like this everyday, but I never thought it would happen to me.

So with that said, I wish I could at least have a day to mourn my loss, but I can't because I'm at work and someone already called off sick, so I'm stuck here to just suck it up. It's pretty hard putting on a smile and talking to customers when I feel so crummy inside. But I guess I will do what I have to do. Brett and I will get through this and we'll try again some day. Thank you everyone for all of your support. It's been more of a help than you probably realize.